A few things that make me happy. Pictures. Pictures of people, and also of amazing nature scenes. I change my wallpaper frequently just because I like it so much. Cows. Don’t know why. I like to “moo” and wave when I drive by, just to see if the people behind me think I’m insane. Food. Aah, yes. Could anything be better than a great meal?! I suppose maybe a great meal in a great location with great weather and great people and a great time, but that is a bit semantic.
It’s Sunday today, and as I wait for my socks to dry I have a bit of time to think. I had a great round of golf with my friend and client Phil yesterday, and we got to talking about how people go through seasons. I think that it is so common for Christians to go through seasons that feel empty and hopeless and unsatisfying, because God is drawing us to Himself in those times. I like the analogy of God enlarging our hearts, which makes us feel empty, but then gives us more of a capacity to be filled with Him and his thoughts, feelings, etc. Beautiful. Just beautiful.
It’s how amazing how flighty I am as a human. In winter I stay inside because it is to dang cold. In summer it is too hot or humid, or I’m working or something. So, basically, I have only 2 weeks out of the whole year that I really enjoy the outdoors. Maybe 4 if I’m lucky. Two in the spring and two in the fall. I guess that is what makes vacations so drastically important! It forces us to get out of our environment, outside, and more importantly, to stop working. Have you ever noticed that if you go outside, ANYWHERE, and just stop and sit for awhile you start to see things you NEVER would have seen before? I notice this when I go out in the woods a lot, but even a few years ago I decided to just try it downtown Rochester. I just sat down and waited. Then, what do you know, I noticed this sparrow in the tree right above my head. So I just sat and watched him for a while.
We can learn SO much in those times that you can NEVER learn any other way. The intangible things of the Spirit or spirit. Both.
I have been very blessed to have my brother living with me for a while now. He’s awesome. He is sort of stuck at home for a few weeks, and it has been great for me, although I’m sure trying for him. It’s been fun to joke around with him and just enjoy life. He’s taken up sewing as well. Yeah, sewing. Making killer curtains for his room, and matching pillows and such. A regular Martha Stewart.
What else. I’m very sick of my own fear and the lack of power in my life as a result. I desperately want to be FREAKISHLY obedient to Christ!! No matter the cost!! I hate the lonely feeling of being a leader. It really can suck. Only other people out there who have felt what it is like to be a leader for a while can understand. And it doesn’t set in at first. At first it is fun. But after a while you long for other people to step up to the plate. I don’t feel like I’ve been that incredible of a leader lately, somewhat on purpose (in my hopes to see others step up, and in honest tiredness and loneliness of constantly blazing trails). I know that is how God has made me, though, and I am sitting here watching and waiting to see what happens. But my heart yearns, and yes, it will see, my friends and family take drastic and freakish risks on behalf of Christ. And I will again too.
It has been fun to see my friend Terelle emerge as a leader in this respect. He’s going out on the streets and praying for people like I used to. And I will again. It may be I have to pray for 1,000 people to see 1 get healed. But that will be worth it for them. And I will have a deepened aspect of my relationship with Christ because of it. I have seen people healed before, that’s not the point. The point is the LIFESTYLE. I am good at doing incredible things really fast and hard, but then I move on to something else when it appears it is as far as I can go. Then again, if something really moves my heart (like Brick and Amp), the consistency is there. And on another hand, isn’t life- ESPECIALLY as Christians- all about seasons? That is a natural part of it.
Lately I have been really studying and getting revelation about the “Law of Grace”. Just the amazing fact that God’s Black and White rules can be OVERRULED by God’s word when we approach him in a spirit of love, trust, and trust in His goodness especially! THINK about this! What makes something a law? Isn’t it simply that God said, “This is the way it is”? THAT made it the law. So what if he says, “I’m making an exception here”. THAT BECOMES A NEW AND HIGHER LAW- a law in itself. THIS is what is meant by the “law of grace”. It is what means that God can say one thing, and do another. THE ONLY CONSISTENT THEME IN THE LAW IS LOVE!!! He can say “You will die”, but if a king humbly asks for forgiveness, God can say “Ok, I’ll give you 15 more years”. God can say “If you murder, you deserve to get murdered”, but through Jesus he says “I see your heart, and you are more valuable to me now alive than dead. Tell other people about the love I have for you”. He can say, “I want you to be single,” but when reminded of His goodness throughout the generations he can provide a wife or a husband. IT IS THIS LAW OF GRACE THAT ENTHRALLS ME!!!
Many Christians reduce God to a set of rules. They say, “God cannot contradict his word”. SURE he can! If he is acting in love!! Any honest study of the scriptures shows hundreds of times in both the new and old Testament where He did so. Don’t get me wrong, He will never call sin ok, or anything like that. I’m just talking about the consequences and destiny. THAT IS THE MEANING OF GRACE!!! If there is not a deviation from the stated consequences as a result of humble petition to God, then grace truly has lost it’s power, and we may as well try to fulfill the entire law in our own power.
This marvelous, majestic mystery that is we are in. Broken people asked to do the impossible (possible only through Him) who are continually redeemed from their own ability to do so.