Questions Answered.

Today has been a great day, and it’s only 1:30.

This morning Darrel Dobbleman called me. He was the leader of both of my missions trips to Mexico, and is the founder of Dove International. I felt a leading to call him a week or two ago and I left a message, and he got back to me this morning.

Anyway, I was able to share with him most of what I was struggling with lately- the lack of vision, lack of purpose, but, ultimately (as I discovered in my lunch meeting with Rod), the lack of a plan. He had some great words for me and asked me to pray about going to Guatemala to his base (which is now a YWAM base) down there. He said it would be “a good fit”.

After that, I went to lunch with Rod, and just in talking to Him God further clarified what the problem has actually been, and what the next step is.

There are a lot of things leading up to this discovery, but I won’t share them all with you. But the problem is this:

I have a vision to fund 300 orphanages by the time I die. They would be funded with passive income. Right now at this point in my life I have no other vision, and am close to paying off some debt. Some change is coming, whether it be financial or whatever, it is inevitable. But historically, God has asked me to lay down my visions before Him and focus on much simpler things, such as relationships. To top it off, I cannot do anything half-way. God has not made me like that, and I consider it a tarnish on His name when we carry a vision out to anything less than our best abilities. In terms of finances, I believe I’m a prince of God and nothing would keep me from executing it. I HATE the poverty mentality of most Christians and would like to raise my own passive income then beg for funds, either for my visions or for myself. And so I was stuck in the quandry of planning and executing a vision with financial wisdom and faith (with the possibility of God eventually not letting me fulfill it anyway), or dumping it and living some sort of a simpler life than that and even fearful that the Lord would move me to Iran to be a missionary living only on warrior faith (which I also like and is a part of me, but that’s another story) or whatever He wants to do. So it was a combination of fear and loss and faith and identity all coming to a quite literal crux.

And the answer is…

I am going to focus on creating only my own passive income, so that God can use me where He wants me to minister. If He then wants to take my orphange funding idea and run with it, He can do so, but it will not be in my power, and I will still have gained valuable experience and wisdom with finances will still have the ability to live out the ministry aspect of my heart. This allows me as a prince of God to move forward keep what I know to be true about finances and His character and my identity, while laying the future in God’s hands.

Blah

Lately I’ve been feeling worried. I have no idea why, but just this sense of desiring more and not knowing what lies ahead. Fear of the future.

History shows me that when I feel like this I need to be strong. To realize that God’s plans and future for me are far greater than I could ever imagine.

It seems like every dream or vision I have had God has asked me to give up or has not given me. I’m still not married. Brick and Amp didn’t turn into an enormous ministry. I was world-class in the music industry and He asked me to lay it down.

And the prophetic words I’ve been getting lately go like this, “What’s coming is huge”, “You will not be alone”, and many smaller visions and such that could be nothing, could be significant. Rod told me last week that he had been thinking about me that week and has enjoyed being my spiritual father. (Why did God give him that feeling? Sounds sort of like a past tense type of a word?) One friend talked about seeing a vision of the Serengeti when he prayed with me. Those types of things that probably mean nothing, could be bad pizza, but for some reason I’m reading into them at this point in my life. Maybe it’s the the closeness of the moon to the earth and the tides? Who knows?

Why am I writing this? Well, because I want to put it down. Maybe you feel weird sometimes, too. We’re all human, and if you get something out of my rambling, I’m blessed.

God, thank you for life.

IE7

Download it. Frickin ROCKS!! The ability to save tabs (multiple web pages) as your “home” page is fabulous! I’ve got Zimmerman’s blog, MySpace, AND a cool recipe website http://www.elise.com/recipes/ (that I LOVE!! Still haven’t made anything from on there yet, but every day there is a new recipe or two with yummy pictures to look at!) as my home page! WooHOO!!!

Please pray for my brother Brandon. He’s got about 130 days left in jail, and is doing well spiritually, but I pray that it goes fast for him!

Working from Dunn Bros. today. Just thought I’d drop a note for all who are bored at work. ๐Ÿ™‚

Justin.

Travel wit my Jesus!

Today was a cool day. First of all, I woke up, as I tend to do. Then, I read the Bible. Matthew 5 in particular. There was something abou the verses, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” that struck a chord in me! I can’t explain it, but I just kept repeating the words “pure in heart…shall see God” and let them minster to my spirit. I love seeing God and can’t wait to see Him more!!

Went to the Cities with Rose Neitzell and met Emily Neitzell there for lunch at Passage to India in uptown. Good meal, good fellowship.

On the way home Rose and I were talking about travel, and she mentioned how her favorite trips were the ones with YWAM when she was doing ministry. And I questioned to myself if the same was true for me. And I surprised myself in my answer that, no, my favorite trips have been the ones like when I hitchhiked across Ireland or traveled alone across Italy. It made me feel guilty because I “should” feel more excited about the ministry oriented trips, right? (They still are in my top 5, by the way!) But the Ireland one in particular stood out. There was a time on that trip when I understood that nobody else in the entire world knew where I was, and it was completely me and Jesus alone. And I loved it! How many people can say that they have been in a land far far away from every person you could imagine and no other humans and could have completely enjoyed it?! And the Lord spoke to me and said, “See, Justin. That’s all right. That’s how I’ve MADE you! There is NOTHING on earth wrong with enjoying traveling with your Father!! It’s all about relationships, and there is no relationship on earth more important than your relationship with your Father.”

Oh! My heart just melted.

Why, dear reader, do we put ourselves into the religious box and desguise it with the label “productive”? Why could I not readily understand that nothing in this world is more important, OR productive than traveling with my Father in heaven?? No other agenda, just spending quality time with Him!

Lord, rescue us from our false “productive” mindset. May we be “unproductive” to our own rational mind, but may our relationship with You be the most productive thing in our lives.

ME AS A WOMAN!!!!

Ok, I know my rabid blog fans have waited a long time for a post from me, and you will NOT be disappointed! I’ve been saving this one for a special occasion. I found this chick when I was browsing an Internet dating site one day.

And so, without further ado, I give to you…

ME AS A WOMAN!!!

Yeah! FREAKY!!! I KNOW!! Poor woman. God give her favor! I just don’t know what to say! It has taken me a year to get the guts to share this with you. What a strange bunch of feelings. Shouldn’t I be more attractive as a woman????!

I need to mention Sarah from Sealmaxx here or she will kill me. (Hi Sarah! ๐Ÿ™‚ ) Sarah is a friend I met through the Zimmerman family, and currently holds the proud record of being the #1 destroyer of my carpet. A pack of 80-year-old cats with rotten bowels could not do more damage than her. She is a pretty cool person, but she needs to work on her mini-golf and Dr. Pepper pong games.

Life is great. God is great. I praise Him for everything in my life as always!

Peace to all who read this.