It truly isn’t about numbers for me anymore.
It used to be. I used to dream about playing for huge crowds of people in a rock band. It is a dream I’ve had since I was a little kid. (I believe it maybe that idea is of God, but that’s another story.) Back then the numbers meant how many people would look at me in respect and admiration. I would be a god to them.
For a while, after I became Christian, I thought about how cool I would look, AND how I could show the world the quality of music that is deserving of the name of Christ.
Then, I envisioned the sheer number of people I could impact for Christ and inspire in ministry as a model. Wouldn’t God be impressed with my work!?!!!!
Now I’m at a new place. A place I truly believe is more Christ’s heart than I’ve ever been at before. The place where life is all about relationships, and where numbers have no meaning. The place where if I don’t have good relationships, it doesn’t matter if I’m playing for 500,000 people- it’s just pointless. To God, and to me.
God has put the immeasurable treasure of Himself in part in each of us. It is a privilege to hang out with another human and see those intangible, beautiful aspects of personality, character, and giftings come out as we enjoy finding Christ in each other. I see God both in Christians and non-Christians (after all, we’re ALL created in His image!). My hope is that all I have relationship with will be restored to their maker, but I know that without love and realtionship nothing in life matters. And so I do not love with an agenda. I do not play in a band with an agenda. I love. Period. Faulty at times. Utterly failing at others. But my goal in life and my focus is on Jesus and is on filling myself with His love so I can truly love others.
God cares about quality before quantity. It is so funny to see Him move in my life in areas I’ve asked him to do for years- only now I don’t care about anymore. I believe sometimes we just aren’t ready for the desires He’s put on our heart until we have our heart and mind changed into a vessel that can handle them.
God- I’m an open book. Use me how You see fit, but just give me GREAT relationships with You and with everyone I come into contact with!!!!
The world is clammering over power, wealth, and notoriety. But all of the previous are crap to God. And you can never handle them as a Christian unless you are willing to lay them all down for the sake of relationship.