Today the Lord revealed something to me that is one of the most important milestones in my life.
God as the bridegroom.
No words can possibly express how I feel God right now. I feel him as a bridegroom that comes behind his bride and puts his arms on her shoulders and head on her shoulder and asks her if she’s _____ (whatever) just to talk to her. Just like married couples, but with the fresh joy and expectancy of a new marriage.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about anything physical. I’m talking about the point Jesus was trying to make when calling his church His bride. I’m talking about that kind of holy and pure love.
I have always known Jesus as Daddy, and recently in my walk as my Friend. But tonight is the first night in my life I have connected the dots and feel the love of God for me as my Bridegroom. It has changed my perception on my life, my outlook on who I am, (the loved BRIDE of Christ!). (And I now know WHY he will make it “given unto you” if you ask. Because as his bride He’s always looking for how He can please me. Just because He loves me.)
I looked at a poster in my room from “The Passion of the Christ” tonight and for the first time thought of nothing, but a man going through that struggle for His wife. That simple, holy love.
I must say here that lately God has been helping me to rebuke some related lies about myself as well. I typically have been a person with a martyr complex, or monastic outlook. In other words, when I come to God to pray, I would historically feel this emptiness as a point where I would begin. With me completely emptied out for my Lord. This filtered into much of my life. It is a reason many days I would fast until 4:30pm, or why I had to in some way do some good after I screwed up before I felt truly right with God. But that lie is officially broken.
I come to God now as a mature woman comes to her husband. I can just see a woman in a wedding dress coming toward her bridegroom with a look of knowing she’s loved and a smile on her face. NOT a feeling of feeling unworthy to be loved and accepting it anyway. But rather a feeling of knowing that she’s the apple of his eye and truly relishing her place in life. Even with a smirk.
It’s hard to describe this revelation, so just let me say this. God will give me whatever I ask for. I will be married. I will speak to churches about this revelation. Because there are a lot more people out there who are living like I used to. And they need to know they are a BRIDE!