Your’s is a lonely oyster
What do you do when you want God so bad, but you don’t hear him speak? I just keep pushing in, but it is hard sometimes, because you start to question if you are “okay” with Him, if you’re “doing” enough. And eventually he either speaks out of his love and mercy for us, or you give up and just relax and realize you can’t “do” anything to please God anyway.
Life is SO much easier when I just GIVE UP and realize God is WITH ME!!!!
I need food.
The opportunity to minister at Casa de Paz
The knowledge that Christ has not left me, isn’t mad at me, and loves me dearly.
All my family, like little Gabe, Alex, and not Addy.
My “community”. Kristy, Lindsay, all the girls and guys, Kleebs, Joe.. everyone!
My “salsa community” Tony, Parul, Ruth, Fernando, Julie… everyone!!
The ability to have my own business, that I enjoy
God’s mercy on my life.
The fact that I’m not left to myself! (YAY GOD!!!!)
The belief that God is in this new band that I have, and the absolute amazement and what He’s creating through us.
The incredible, unsurpassable love of Jesus!!!
The beauty I still feel thinking about Jamaica, and all the other trips I’ve been blessed to be a part of.
I’m not one to jump on the latest Christian revival. Most of them seem to get tainted with the hand of man, and I have issue with that.
I have a family I am very dear to who have been incredibly transformed by the latest revival in Lakeland, FL. I originally saw some video of it and was unimpressed. Looked like Benny Hinn with more contemporary worship music when I first saw it. And I don’t like Todd Bentley’s style. Personal opinion, but I recognize that God cares nothing for style.
Tonight I decided to do some more research on it, and logged onto Godtube.com to look up a few videos. I found one that was very interesting to me. It was a video of testimonies. Testimonies of people healed. That is something you don’t see a lot with Benny Hinn, and I have tried to find them a little bit. But these were testimonies with medical documents included- JUST what I’ve been looking for!!!!
I am in a purging state. God is refining me, letting the impurities float to the surface and scraping them away. The gold will remain.
I am more open to Lakeland then I have ever been. God, get us, HERE!!!
I have been doing this new thing lately where I will start the day by assuming the best about God. For example, I say to God, “God, no matter what happens today, I’m going to assume that you are good. No matter what my emotions say.” Or, “God, I’m going to assume that you love me today, no matter what happens.”
It’s amazing how much better life is!
I feel like I am on “the path” right now, which, I guess, basically just means that I am focusing on Jesus and following Him right now, and wanting to do so more. Probably why I feel so good!
I’m living out of boxes until I close on the house June 6th. A small price to pay. Although I finally got my first real good sleep in a month last night (since moving in with Joe). I found a way to put my feet under his armrest of his couch, so I can finally fit my whole body on there. I FINALLY feel rested!!! YAY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Been really researching and praying about community and what it means lately. It is scary, because this really is an experiment in learning how to love like Jesus. I’m not really good at that yet, so I expect a lot of big chunks to be broken off of me as God carves me into an image of Himself. I’m also excited to see the end result. God bless me, and the other members of this community, as we learn how to live together in Your love. Amen.
It has been interesting watching people respond when I tell them of this latest experiment. There is little way of not making it come out seeming cultish or weird. “Yeah, I bought a house with a guy who is a friend of mine and we’re going to fill it with guy friends of ours. We bought the house because a girl in our group of friends bought a house and she’s filling it with girl renters that are our friends. We want to have meals together, and just hang out all the time and ‘be’ the church.” Seriously. You should try it once. It’s fun! 😀 I mean, just telling someone that. I think my first reaction would be “Oh-oh. Sounds like a cult.” But, we all go to different Christian churches, some Baptist, some non-denominational, some pentecostal, some charismatic, and we all know what it’s about, (the value of relationships) so that is all that matters. Hopefully we can be a model on how to do it right in a world that is filled with examples of how to do it wrong.
I’m finding more and more friends who live in that area, though! Yay!!! Phil Francis, Ryan Hawley, and a couple more people.
I think I’ll get outside.
Today I put an offer in with Joe Rico on a house. We plan on filling it with renters and living there ourselves. (By the way, I’m still straight). We bought it because we believe wholeheartedly in the value of community, and many of the girls in our group of friends are moving in with Rachel, who lives 2 blocks away. We look forward to having meals, parties, and ministry together. We also look forward to sharing our hard times, and being more real with other human beings. I already found renters for my condo, so I actually may save money in the process.
Financially, I’m a hurting unit. It’s time to find a supplemental job. I’m even considering moving overseas and teaching English for a year. Would be a cool adventure, and I would be able to save some money at the same time. Work gets hard once a year or so, but God always comes through. Usually with something bigger and better. And I’m looking forward to the next stage!!!
Personally, I’m doing extremely well. I feel so close to Jesus!!! I feel like I’m seeing more of Him every day, and seeking him more every day. I’m willing to put into the time to seek him and listen to Him. And I can feel his presence as a result.
A thought- ambition is great. You are able to prove yourself and get a lot done. But nothing is as important as relationships. If you achieve all of your ambitions, but sacrifice relationships, or even love, then you really are a being to be pitied. On my deathbed I hope to say, “I loved, and was loved.” Both about my God and everyone I encounter in life.
I don’t care about money. I don’t care about fame. I don’t care about ambitious goals, when compared to the intimacy of two souls truly encountering each other. Nothing in life is more valuable than that.
I haven’t eaten much today, and am a bit tired, but I am happy.
Thank You, Jesus!!!
Shane Claiborne has ruined me. He has shown me, once again, what it means to follow Jesus. What it means to lay down my life for even my enemies. He has shown me out of the Bible what it means to love those who persecute you.
I am no longer supporting war in Iraq. I don’t know if I support war, period. I look at WWII and think, yes, maybe there is a time when a nation needs to rise up to stop the mass killing in another. But I just don’t see that in Iraq. My respect for our soldiers is greater than ever. I see them, at least, putting themselves in a position to get killed for what they believe. That is more than I can say for myself and most Christians.
What the world really, REALLY needs is Jesus followers. People who are willing to go places and love their enemies. Even unto death. THAT is what changes the world. God, here is my heart. Take it and change me into a willing follower for extreme grace.
What would have happened if, after WWII, America would have risen up and said to Osama Bin Laden- “We hurt tremendously. But we love you. And we forgive you.” How would the Arab world have responded? Would Al-Queda have grown? I have a feeling everyone would have been better off. But in the cloud of shock we resorted to “shock and awe”. The odd thing is, what TRULY would have shocked and awed the world is exactly what we didn’t do. Forgave, as a nation, our enemies. Of course, this cannot happen so easily, because many, no, most people do not follow Jesus. Even myself, in that instance.
God, teach me to love!
I STILL don’t believe in the angry protesters that commonly accompany the “Give peace a chance” movement. I don’t respect a person who will scream for peace- as long as they are safe and secure.
But Jesus, thankfully, has shown us another way. A way of loving our enemies, while still standing for what is right. The way Shane Claiborne has chosen to follow- traveling to Iraq while we bombed them, and simply loving the people. The way Paul, and James, and all of the New Testament believers chose to follow- loving and honoring their enemies all the way to their deaths.
I think of China. I think of how the protesters are disrupting the torch’s march across the world for Tibet (by the way, why don’t they mention Darfur??) I saw a picture in the paper with a protestor shouting at a smiling Chinese woman’s face. Is THAT really the message you want to portray, dude?? Is THAT how you want fearful China to see you?
I want China to see something else. I want it to see people who are asking it, humbly, for peace in places like Darfur. Who is seeing signs that instead of saying “No Blood for Oil” say, “We Love You, China, But Please Help Darfur!”
It’s funny. The Romans never wanted to kill Jesus. Usually it’s the religious “devout” in one way or another, be it the Catholic church or Islaam extremists.
I’m starting to ramble now, but I think the time is now. The time for the new Ghandi, the new MLK Junior, the time for the Christian who wants to look like Jesus. Only I hope that this movement is not marked by a current human leader. But by a group of people so affected by grace and so in love with Jesus that they cry out for even their enemies and fulfill, truly, once and for all Jesus words, “They will know you by your love.” God, let it start with me!!!!
Today I did my normal walk from Salvation Army street parking to Sopra Sotto. But today it was different.
Today, I wasn’t freezing. On the way back, I wasn’t in a hurry. At least, my body was still in the habit of being in a hurry, but I was able to slow it down and enjoy the walk!
On one street corner, while waiting for green walk sign I just lifted my head and closed my eyes and drank in the sunshine.
Southerners have no idea how that feels. To suffer through a lifetime of Minnesota winters, only to emerge in the sunshine yet again. In an odd sort of way, our own climate teaches us hope, and faith, and how to be content in all situations. And it teaches us a unique form of community victory. Something we are privileged to experience every year. A bond that ties us together in a way, sorry Southerners, you just can’t understand unless you’ve been through a few of these.
I’m still amazed at how being outside centers me spiritually, physically, and emotionally. It’s no wonder Jesus always identified himself with light.